The CMJ Fest is coming to town next week, and I was rather amazed at the sheer number of acts performing. I think it's supposed to be an honor to appear in this festival, but with this many bands it's hard to think of it that way. How to stand out (the eternal question) with hundreds of acts all in the same four days?

After perusing the list I started to see some rather unfortunate similarities in some band names, that probably would never be noticed outside a gathering this large. It became almost like seeing a list of every possible band name ever conceived. With that in mind, I prepared this list of my ideal CMJ showcases. These are all real names of acts, all but a few of whom I've never heard.

The Bloody Showcase
The Blood Arm
Blood On The Wall
Blood Red Sun
Bloodthirsty Lovers
Internal Bleeding

The Indices Showcase
Frontier Index
Misery Index

The Panther Showcase
Junior Panthers
Panthers
Perfect Panther

The Abbreviated Showcase
IQU
PS
QPE
RJD2
S
XO
ZS
zZz
ZZZZ

The Repetitive Showcase
Action Action
Bang! Bang!
Beep Beep
Controller.Controller
Man Man
Medium Medium
Mirror Mirror
Chin Up Chin Up
[Update: somehow I missed "Temper Temper". We'll squeeze them in.]
Transistor Transistor
The Double

finally, The Obvious Indie Rock Reference Showcase
Army Of Me
another appearance by Junior Panthers
Painting Soldiers
Surferosa

And I have to mention my favorite band name on the list, ONE OF THE LOUDEST TRAGEDIES EVER HEARD.